


Five Times Ryan Cried After Sex and One Time it Didn't Matter

by masqandchains (jupiterslifelessmoons)



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: 5 Times, Crying After Sex, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sort Of, Well - Freeform, first nsfw fic yay, first published one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 23:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13601130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiterslifelessmoons/pseuds/masqandchains
Summary: Ryan's always hated that he cries after sex.





	Five Times Ryan Cried After Sex and One Time it Didn't Matter

i.

The first time was the most mortifying. He was sixteen and still not entirely sure of his body. He’d done alright, he thought. She was asleep, so he’d at least performed well enough to tire her out. But there was a loose knot in his chest begging to come undone, and so he went into the bathroom and ran the water so she wouldn’t wake up to him crying his eyes out.

It felt wrong, like someone had transplanted a feeling into his body. He should be...euphoric. Satisfied. Tired, maybe. Something logical. Instead he was just...kind of numb. And embarrassed. Girls cried after sex. And yet here he was.

When he was sure he had no tears left he cupped his hands under the faucet and dunked his entire face into the resulting pool, shook droplets out of his hair, and toweled his face off.

He climbed back into bed very carefully so as not to wake her. Tentatively he rolled closer, and she didn’t stir. He nuzzled gently at her hair. It smelled like strawberries and salt water.

ii.

It had been brief but rough and Ryan could feel bruises forming on the back of his neck where her fingernails had dug into his skin. There, and...all down his back, as well. And possibly other places. He felt almost energetic still. He hadn’t known humans were capable of making sounds like that. It had been...good, really good. Different, but good.

And then without warning the dam just broke. He sat on the edge of the bed and stuffed a fist in his mouth to muffle the sound of it, hoped to God she wouldn’t turn around.

She turned anyway.

“Babe, are you...crying?”

“M’ fine,” he muttered, and he felt the mattress shift a moment later as she laid back down.

iii.

He was thoroughly exhausted and she’d left to get them sandwiches or coffee or something. He didn’t really care.

Right now he was just staring at the wall and hugging his pillow, blinking as rapidly as he believed was humanly possible. It was too much to hold it off any longer, though, and he buried his face in his pillow and cried as quietly as possible. He wanted a warm hand on his back and a hand in his hair, anything, anyone, but he was alone and the closest thing he had to human comfort was this pillow.

iv.

His voice was muffled with sleep. “Are- are you crying, hon?”

“N-no,” whispered Ryan, but the tremble in his voice gave him away. He felt cold even underneath the thick duvet cover. There was a hand in his hair. Finally, he thought.

“S’okay to cry,” his partner said, almost lazily.

“ ‘M not crying,” said Ryan underneath a gasp.

“Whatever you say, luv.” There was silence from the other side of the bed.

Ryan hugged himself and closed his eyes. He could feel the tears leak out and turn cold as the air conditioning hit him. He tried not to move so the hand would stay in his hair.

v.

She was still going, still kissing down his neck and chest and then back up to his face, pulling him in slowly and lingering at his mouth for a long moment. He was tired and shaky but he didn’t want to disappoint and so he met her, albeit much softer, much slower.

Finally something close to exhaustion furrowed deep into his bones when she snuggled underneath him and began kissing at his neck again, and he rolled off her. She sat up fast, still as bright eyed and eager as when they’d started. Maybe even more so. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing- I- I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“Oh.” She pouted, drew back a little. “Wanna keep going?”

“Not- not really, no, sorry.”

She looked even more disappointed, but nodded. “Okay.” She rolled out of bed and stood to leave, and he didn’t even ask where she was going. He hardly managed to hold it in before the door closed. The second it did the sobs burst from his chest of their own volition and he buried his face in the comforter, thinking somewhat bitterly that it would be nice if it could live up to its name.

vi.

“Ryan.”

“...”

_“Ryan.”_

“L-leave m-me alone.”

“Now that’s not a very nice way to talk to someone you’ve just fucked, is it?”

Ryan sighs, annoyed that it comes out in three broken pieces, each separate piece a sob. He’s sitting at the edge of the bed, hugging a pillow and wishing Akmazian would just go away.

“Does this...usually happen?”

“N-not always.” Well, there’s a lie.

There are hands on his shoulders, then his arms, and before Ryan knows it he’s been unwrapped from around the pillow and has practically thrown himself against Ak’s chest, crying at an embarrassing volume.

“Shhh.”

Ryan feels like a child. Ak’s stroking his hair, big and solid and very much there.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, then adds a little louder, “Did no one ever do this for you?” in a somewhat incredulous tone.

“N-n-”

“Okay, okay. Shh.”

Ryan shhhs.

“You want water or somethin’?” Ak asks, because Ryan looks completely exhausted.

“Later. Right now just- s-stay.”

Ak stays.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like half an hour while I should've been writing other things because peer pressure. Oh well ~


End file.
